Re: [tlug] C puzzle

[Godwin Stewart <gstewart@example.com>]

On Tue, 30 Jul 2002 17:47:45 +0200, David Santinoli <u235@example.com> wrote
to tlug@example.com:

> > The following program contains 25 characters, uses no library
> > functions and segfaults when run:
> >
> > main(){((void(*)())0)();}
> 
> echo 'main(){main();}' > f.c ; gcc -o f f.c ; ./f ; rm f.c f
> 
> Sooner or later it *should* get out of stack space, shouldn't it? ;-)

This whole C puzzle thread reminds me of something I picked up a while ago
and recently posted to a different Linux group:


TASK :- To Shoot Yourself In The Foot

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

C
You shoot yourself in the foot.

C++
You accidentally create a dozen instances of yourself and shoot them all in
the foot. Providing emergency medical care is impossible since you can't
tell which are bitwise copies and which are just pointing at others and
saying, "That's me over there."

FORTRAN
You shoot yourself in each toe, iteratively, until you run out of toes, then
you read in the next foot and repeat. If you run out of bullets, you
continue anyway because you have no exception handling ability.

Cobol
USE HANDGUN.COLT(45), AIM AT LEG.FOOT, THEN WITH ARM.HAND.FINGER ON
HANDGUN.COLT(TRIGGER) PERFORM.SQUEEZE RETURN HANDGUN.COLT(45) TO
HIP.HOLSTER.

LISP
You shoot yourself in the appendage which holds the gun with
which you shoot yourself in the appendage which holds the gun with
which you shoot yourself in the appendage which holds the gun with
which you shoot yourself in the appendage which holds the gun with
which you shoot yourself in the appendage which holds the gun with
which you shoot yourself in the appendage which holds...

Basic (interpreted)
You shoot yourself in the foot with a water pistol until your foot is
waterlogged and rots off.

Basic (compiled)
You shoot yourself in the foot with a BB using a SCUD missile launcher.

FORTH
Foot in yourself shoot.

APL
You shoot yourself in the foot, then spend all day figuring out how to do it
in fewer characters.

Pascal
The compiler won't let you shoot yourself in the foot.

SNOBOL
If you succeed, shoot yourself in the left foot. If you fail, shoot yourself
in the right foot.

Concurrent Euclid
You shoot yourself in somebody else's foot.

HyperTalk
Put the first bullet of the gun into the foot left of leg of you. Answer the
result.

Motif
You spend days writing a UIL description of your foot, the trajectory, the
bullet, and the intricate scrollwork on the ivory handles of the gun. When
you finally get around to pulling the trigger, the gun jams.

Unix
      % ls
      foot.c foot.h foot.o toe.c toe.o
      % rm * .o
      rm: .o: No such file or directory
      % ls
      %

XBase
Shooting yourself is no problem. If you want to shoot yourself in the foot,
you'll have to use Clipper.

Paradox
Not only can you shoot yourself in the foot, your users can, too.

Revelation
You'll be able to shoot yourself in the foot just as soon as you figure out
what all these bullets are for.

Visual Basic
You'll really only appear to have shot yourself in the foot, but you'll have
had so much fun doing it that you won't care.

Prolog
You tell your program that you want to be shot in the foot. The program
figures out how to do it, but the syntax doesn't permit it to explain it to
you.

370 JCL
You send your foot down to MIS and include a 400-page document explaining
exactly how you want it to be shot. Three years later, your foot comes back
deep-fried.

Apple
We'll let you shoot yourself, but it'll cost you a bundle.

IBM
You insert a clip into the gun, wait half an hour, and it goes off in random
directions. If a bullet hits your foot, you're lucky.

Microsoft
Object "Foot" will be included in the next release. You can upgrade for
$500.

Cray
I knew you were going to shoot yourself in the foot.

Hewlett-Packard
You can use this machine-gun to shoot yourself in the foot, but the firing
pin is broken.

NeXT
We don't sell guns anymore, just ammunition.

Sun
Just as soon as Solaris gets here, you can shoot yourself anywhere you want.

Ada
After correctly packing your foot, you attempt to concurrently load the gun,
pull the trigger, scream, and shoot yourself in the foot. When you try,
however, you discover you can't because your foot is of the wrong type.

Access
You try to point the gun at your foot, but it shoots holes in all your
Borland distribution diskettes instead.

Assembler
You try to shoot yourself in the foot, only to discover you must first
invent the gun, the bullet, the trigger, and your foot.

Modula2
After realizing that you can't actually accomplish anything in this
language, you shoot yourself in the head.

csh
After searching the manual until your foot falls asleep, you shoot the
computer and switch to C.

dBase
You buy a gun. Bullets are only available from another company and are
promised to work so you buy them. Then you find out that the next version of
the gun is the one that is scheduled to actually shoot bullets.

PL/1
After consuming all system resources including bullets, the data processing
department doubles its size, acquires 2 new mainframes and drops the
original on your foot.

Smalltalk, Actor, et al
After playing with the graphics for 3 weeks, the programming manager shoots
you in the head.

HTML
<a target="http://body/lower-half/leg/foot.appendage";>Shoot
here</a>

Java
The gun fires just fine, but your foot can't figure out what the bullets are
and ignores them.

MOO
You ask a wizard for a pair of hands. After lovingly handcrafting the gun
and each bullet, you tell everyone that you've shot yourself in the foot.

Smalltalk
You daydream repeatedly about shooting yourself in the foot.

-- 
Spotted in a toilet of a London office:
TOILET OUT OF ORDER. PLEASE USE FLOOR BELOW.
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