Re: [tlug] Perceiving Hostility

[Jim <jep200404@example.com>]

Go slow. 

Dave M G wrote:

> The thing is, as this very topic now is about, it seems culturally 
> embedded in "LUG" lists that when someone balks at certain advice for 
> some reason, or if someone (me in this case) says "hey, that's not very 
> nice", the response is "the problem is you, newbie." 

That's also an issue, but not the issue at hand. 

> Whereas I think 
> it's often the case that we just have different priorities. 

That's also an issue, but also not the issue at hand. 

The issue that Godwin called you on is _not_ 
the desirability, hassle, or priorities of doing X. 
The issue is the seeming inconsistency between 
your statement that you thought that you had done X, 
but apparently had not done X. 

_That_ is the issue. 

(where X is "use a source-based system" that Stephen wrote about)

   (Maybe you misunderstood the "system" part. 
   Maybe you thought "system" was just the driver, 
   not the whole steenking OS.)

If you had said, "I have not done X and I am not going to do X, 
because it's too much work.", then you would have had a 
different discussion, perhaps one about priorities. 

Many of us would also not compile the whole OS. Even though Josh 
loves to promote Gentoo, even he would probably understand you not 
wanting to compile everything. The issue is that you seem to have 
claimed to have used a source-based system, while seeming to 
not have used a source-based system. The issue is _not_ that you 
don't want to use a source-based system (although that could be 
_another_ issue). 

> All I'm saying is: isn't communication as much a responsibility of the 
> speaker as it is the listener?

Maybe you screwed up both ends of that. 

Apparently you misspoke when you stated: 

On Sat, 22 Jul 2006 16:03:10 +0900 Dave M G <martin@example.com> wrote:

> What you describe there is pretty much what I've been doing, isn't it? 

Apparently you misunderstood when Godwin wrote: 

On Sat, 22 Jul 2006 12:18:04 +0200 Godwin Stewart <godwin.stewart@example.com> wrote:

> On the contrary, so far you're refusing to build anything.

When things get hot, perception goes to hell. 
Look for alternative ways (particuarly positive ways) to perceive things. 
One might need to wait a day to respond. 
For myself, sometimes one day is not enough. YMMV 

It's kind of like debugging. The angrier or more frustrated one gets, 
the harder it is to find the bugs (which makes one angrier yet).